


Buttons

by TheonSugden



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: M/M, Referenced Child Abuse, referenced animal death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-03-30 20:03:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3949900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheonSugden/pseuds/TheonSugden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eric tries to help Aaron grieve, and learn to love himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Buttons

“It’s OK to cry. It’s better than OK, because you have such a pretty cry face…and you took your shirt off, so they’re half-naked pretty tears - those are the best of all.”

Aaron managed a small chuckle through the tears he’d tried his best to keep bottled up. 

Eric had spent what seemed like years convincing him it was OK to cry, no matter how many times his mother had called him a sissy or a failure for showing his emotions.

Eric knew he was the only person who saw Aaron’s tears, felt them wet against his arms as he cradled the man he loved. Sometimes - if two to three hours a night every night was sometimes - he worried for Aaron’s big heart, beating on the end of his sleeve, if he wasn’t there anymore.

“It’s my fault,” Aaron whimpered into Eric’s bare chest, “Buttons was fine. If I’d left him alone…if I hadn’t been there -”

Eric carded his hand through Aaron’s curls, letting his fingers slide down to brush thumbs over Aaron’s tears.

“You  _were_  there,” he said, softly but insistently. “And you spared him a long, slow death. It hurts…it hurts to love and to care…but it’s always worth the pain, Aaron.”

Aaron nodded, but Eric wasn’t sure if the message got through.

“Mommy Dearest taught you that you only deserved the worst…that you only know how to hurt people…and it’s not true, Aaron.”

Aaron began to cry again, tears staining Eric’s heart with guilt, but he knew Aaron needed to hear what he said.

“You loved that horse because no one else could or did, Aaron. It was brave, and beautiful…just like you. You did your best. You always do your best. Even when you’re picking cereal up off the floor. It’s disgusting, frankly.”

Aaron smiled and leaned over to kiss him, shy and sweet. Eric, using every ounce of will power he had, pulled away.

“I want you to tell me you’re brave and beautiful.”

Aaron rolled his eyes.

“Seriously?”

Eric nodded.

“Seriously. Saying it like Miss Utah 1983 gets you extra points, but isn’t mandatory.”

Aaron laughed again, but he didn’t argue.

“I am…brave and…I don’t look too bad.”

“Beautiful. Beautiful. Christina Aguilera ass chaps beautiful. Say it or else.”

Aaron grimaced.

“Fine. I’m…beautiful.”

There was so much else Eric wanted to say. He wanted to admit he worried he would someday be that horse, that Aaron would have to kill him and most of Aaron would die with Eric. He wanted to beg Aaron to not be the one to do it, unless he had no choice. That he couldn’t bear to see Aaron having to put that burden on himself, something no one could come back from. 

He couldn’t say what he wanted to say, not when Aaron had that embarrassed, adorably dopey grin on his face. He knew this conversation would take that grin away forever, it would break Aaron, and he needed Aaron strong for them both, for Alexandria, for the world. 

“I need you to repeat a few more things, since it’s your forte,” he teased, trying to take his mind off his thoughts. 

“How do you pronounce forte? ‘Fort’ or ‘fort-ay.’”

“Stop talking, _I’m_  talking,” Eric interrupted, eliciting another grin, and another soft kiss against his mouth and nose. “Repeat after me. I will live to be 300 years old…”

Aaron huffed, but did as told.

“And I will be the first President of the United Republic of Aaronica - stop laughing, this is the important part - and I will forever love and protect the best boyfriend of all time as we fight for a safe world for our beautiful children, Erin - with an E - and Erica - not with an AA.”

Aaron gasped in mock horror.

“First, I can’t remember all that, and second, I hate when parents do that to their kids.” 

Eric reached for his hand, only to realize their hands were already joined.

“You’d never hurt your kids.”

Aaron shook his head, choked up.

“No. No…I wouldn’t.”

Eric kissed the back of Aaron’s hand. 

“I want you to remember what I said. And remember…”

Aaron pulled him close, foreheads together as the kisses grew more heated.

“I remember everything,” he whispered to Eric when they paused for breath.

“That’s so cheesy…” Eric whispered back, playfully, pushing the dark thoughts down again.

As he sank back into the mattress, his final coherent thoughts before giving into Aaron’s teeth and tongue were -

_And remember me._


End file.
